Things are in their Nature to do what they do.

So leave things alone and stop questioning it.

I think that just sums up everything I have to say.

So as for my little self destructive box:
1. person dependent or not person dependent
1.1 person dependent makes it more interesting and it will last longer
1.2 not person dependent is true to the idea about nothing: separation and numbness.
2. plaster boxes are killing me
2.1 its hard to establish consistency
2.2 i have to make multiples
2.3 i just realized that the speakers might need to be attached to these
3. thoughts on the second piece
3.1 a soundless room is not possible without killing people via vacuum
3.2 emitting sound back to the speaker so that they can "feel the vibrations of their own voices/selves"
3.3 translation over translation over translation > loss of meaning > its all about kinetic sculptures baby.
3.3.1 the idea of distillation, reduction to produce and essence
3.3.2 translating a form of something over and over again in different ways. point? the fact that there is no point, things are just regurgitations of other things. ie. it is not really a box but an alignment of pixels, and they are not really pixels but a combination of 1s and 0s and light being emitted and BLAH BLAH BLAH

Suggestions from Faculty:
1. research on minimalism
2. play with words
3. "put your mark on it"


BY THE WAY,
I want to move into graphic design temporarily. just a thought.

i've been thinking a lot

and I dont know if I am being productive but it is either because my subject is about nothing or it is my short term memory or it is my low self esteem.

Why would one think my low self esteem has a play in this?

"The more I read, the more I meditate, the more I can affirm that I know nothing at all."
-Voltaire

"Only the shallow know themselves."
- Oscar Wilde

Which pisses me off because I prided myself as a shallow person.

I feel like the more i try to add meaning to the "nothingness" the bigger the void becomes. It was interesting because in my type class, my teacher was telling me to make a part of the project simple. However it bothered me because, I didnt want to look like I was slacking off by putting so little on the page.



as my friday was ticking away, I had to do hw but I dont want to do it, but I dont want to be unproductive so I started drawing hair-like lines on a sheet of paper. Though I admit, I edited this in PS a bit, i felt like... it was showing me a direction (such a gay ass statement).

because, though the scan of it looked horrible, the real one on the sheet looked as if it had much depth in it. there was something behind those hair like strands. As I was drawing these lines, there would be little pockets of space that for some reason, my hand couldnt draw on.

as if it was natural to leave that space and to not make a straight line.

Its interesting to think that, how geometry is taken from nature, I dont think there really is anything in the world that is a straight line, or a perfect circle.

It interestingly distorted.

You know how people have dreams? I usually dont remember my dreams. My dreams are never vivid or memorable ot anything interesting. But what happens to me that is often is that I get stuck between the waking realm and the sleeping realm. what i mean is that, i am awake but my body cannot move.

It seriously bothers me because there would be moments where I can feel something touch me or brush against me but I live in my studio alone. Seriously. It's so fucking creepy. And its been happening more often now (the past two years) than before.

But it is an interesting sensation. Like your fingertips are on the edge of something you are trying to each.

I dont think. I think thats the reason why I'm having such a hard time with concept. It has always been abstracted to a memory of impression. That is why I suck at telling stories. I can never tell it well because I barely remember it but I do remember finding the story funny or annoying.

Anyway. thats my two cents of the day. I have more to think about. Its spring break!

Interesting Youtubes

This is would be part of my thesis.



I've been obsessed with lawrence krauss for a week now. (Thanks justin.) he's awesome.

Chinatown Veggies

I always wondered why chinatown veggies are cheap. It was interesting.

from a chowhound forum, its because of two things:
1. its ripe NOW not later. Thus, it has a shorter shelf like unlike those in grocery stores. So apparently, Chinese people buy veggies everyday instead of once a week.
2. because its an incredible wholesale, its a lot cheaper.
3. they're from all over the place, and maybe the world. it being organic is questionable. however I saw a 2 for $1 on avocados the other day ;_;

Thinking and Scheduling

I somehow got myself an small internship even though I wasnt planning on getting one. But I wanted to help the person out because she seemed in distress and I wanted to help her out.

My problem is that, I seem to not have enough time for one because my classes are all.. killing me one way or another. I just had some major digestive discomfort from my time class out of stress and panic.

ANYWAY.

I was happy to be helped by those who offer. The concept is developing slowly as I continue reading. However, readings that I have partialy digested I agree with, I dont want it to be too scattered.

But on the other hand, I am those types of people were I want everything mixed into this one thing so I dont have to deal with many different things. EXAMPLE: I would rather if my friends all knew each other so I wouldnt have to jump from different circles of friends to another.

I'm having problems on which perspective to use for my work: a cosmological, zen, metaphysical, art performance? etc etc?

I think I need to, to say in photoshop terms, start collapsing layers into each other and simplify even more.

Luibo sent me an interesting article on destruction. Though I do think that my piece seems to show that it focuses more on destruction, that is not the case. But I have a feeling Luibo likes things that destroy themselves and I think thats kinda awesome.

But what I've learned from that article is: "vandalism not as something entirely extraneous to the piece in question, but as a fulfilment of the work’s inner possibilities, or even as a way of bringing it back to life."

I definitely feel that this can go back to either nihilism, cosmology or zen. Or life in general. But it just goes back to the idea is nothing is an extension of being.

There is also my perspective as the third person in this whole scenario: "wtf?" I will admit, I am the type of person who would usually say "wtf, I dont get it. I cant believe this douchebag is getting a lot of money for something a middle schooler can do." This is my old way of thinking. And what is annoying about art is that sometimes, one can take douchbaggery approaches by responding to "such ignorant statements" by making it and calling it art to piss such people off and just shoving it in a museum. (take james jean and his twitter incident. and inside jokes on a piece called "lonely tuesday")

I'm sure that art historians can also call douchbaggery as an art concept. Hell. Anything is possible. *mixed feeings*

So the presentation is next week and I feel like I have screwed myself over in many ways since its midterms. I cant wait till spring break because my mother is coming and she'll just listen to me bitch the whole day and in the end, she'll be cleaver enough to find a way to snap me out of it either by physically slapping me or threatening me.

And I charge her large amounts of money by going to a fancy restaurant later and she'll slap me by doing so.

I digress.

Anyway, Simulacra and Simulation is an interesting idea (Thanks, Rob!). However I'm having difficulty grasping it. I think I get it but I'm not sure. Is it basically talking about the disappearance of the actual objects and what we deal is the representations of the actual objects?

I feel like that was my issue against creating something that was fully digital in the sense that we are slowly being immersed in a world where there is no actual tangibility. (screen display installations and such.)

As I talked to Carter Hodgkin, I felt envious of her because she can make her works as an intuitive response to something. Though it is enlightening to research about this topic, at the same time, it feels repetitive, not spontaneous/not organic and maybe with a slight pinch of pretentiousness to research about it and lecture people how to perceive it than have their interpretation of it.

On the other hand, one can enlighten the audience and do brain yoga as one explains it.

I love my ignorance, mind you.

I think I'm getting somewhere

But I think it will take me a year to get there =_=; I appreciate the suggestions and recommendations.